The Hurt Locker

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA:
PAX: Aaarrrggghhh, Oatmeal, Chairman Mao, Ina, AlrightAlright, Teasip
QIC: Coach K

AO: Burleson Park
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER: Given.

WARM-O-RAMA:
SSH x20 IC
IST x20 IC

THA THANG:
Two teams each carry a 50 lb ruck sack, which can’t be dropped/set down. One PAX runs towards the first station while other PAX complete a BLIMPS before catching up. PAX complete station before moving on to the next. First team back wins.
1. Parking Deck – Pass bag up the stairs. After passing run up to the top of the line. Once at the top, run down and complete 30 step ups with the bag.
2. Main Quad – Jacob’s ladder with 7 gorilla squats and 1 t-merkin
3. Stadium – Full stadium run
4. Burleson Park – 30 pull-ups

Dirty McDeuce:
Irkens x12, OHD Claps x12, Dirkens x12, Dips x12

3 rounds with Paint the Lines in between

MOLESKIN:
Flashback to Friday night where Teasip and Special Sauce (notably absent this morning) thought an extra glass of whiskey and a jello shot would do YHC in. Unfortunately, that was not the case and the Q proceeded as planned despite being short PAX. Teasip and AlrightAlright spent a portion of the HH discussing YHC’s attitude/aggressiveness likening me to a bear who’s always angry and will attack when provoked. PAX were quick to throw out specific examples, the most notable being the incident with Gold Digger way back when. Attempts to defend myself were nullified given the attitude prevalent this morning.

PAX were extremely rowdy this morning, and YHC couldn’t even give directions for the competition. After the bear came out, YHC moved on with incomplete instructions. Ironically, PAX later were confused and complained about not knowing what was going on. Had they merely listened, it wouldn’t’ve been an issue…Ina was glad someone could empathize with how he feels around his students leading us to yell “Chop ‘Em!” throughout the rest of the morning.

To no one’s surprise, AlrightAlright jumped right into the competitive spirit, and the argument can be made that he yelled at Aaarrrggghhh and YHC more than I did. The Q was designed to keep teams together, which Harrison Bergeroned his running advantage. He was not happy about this and let it be known. The competition was neck and neck until the end when Chairman Mao took off with the ruck sack back to Burleson giving his team a sizable advantage that could not be overcome. Thus, Chairman Mao, Oatmeal, Ina, and Teasip were the victors by about 30 seconds.

PAX wanted Bubba’s after finishing the race early but being the bear that YHC is, led PAX through a Dirty McDeuce, which was filled with some interesting mumblechatter. PAX were discussing the best way to free up time for working out when you have a newborn to which Oatmeal explained that “breastfeeding at night is the way to go”. The kid talks continued, and AA mentioned a 43 year old with 4 boys under the age of 3 (two sets of twins). YHC forgets who, but someone announced that the dad must have “Phillip Rivers-like sperm”. We wrapped up with some Mary and about 15 minutes of announcements because AA apparently didn’t get enough chatter in during the workout.

5 PAX met up at Bubba’s, among which was Ina who YHC can’t recall ever seeing at coffeteria before. Most of the talks centered around NBA players and AA’s hatred of UNC. He made the bold statement that if he was in an elevator with Tyler Hansborough and Bin Laden and had two bullets he’d shoot Hansborough twice. Hard not to be jealous when your best tournament run ended with a blowout from Ohio State back in ’62. Most importantly though, the Mavs aren’t looking too shabby this year currently in 7th in the West.

As previously mentioned, the team event forced people to stick together, which did limit certain people’s advantages. Nevertheless, we were in it together and came up with creative ways to help each other out. Both teams figured out that during pull-ups, one PAX could hold the weight up while the third lifted the PAX from the bottom. The stadium run could also be assisted by having a PAX immediately following the leader with bomb and hold it up for them. (Insert cheesy line about it being a metaphor for helping others with their burdens that might be weighing them down, etc, etc).

In the off chance you’re still reading, I’d like to clarify that yes I’m always pissed and irritable, but it’s never personal. It’s one of my flaws that I have yet to overcome. I thoroughly enjoy working out with y’all even if my demeanor, tone, words don’t necessarily reflect it.

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