WAR 2019 – The Bridge

PAX: Oo-De-Lally, Rump Roast, Ultra, Teasip, Sweet Baby, Sex Panther, Abercrombie
QIC: Sally

AO: Glencoe Park (Quickly to The Bridge)


Run to the bridge, specifically the first set of stairs. Run down, complete 10 dips, 10 derkins, and 10 squats. All meet up at the top/middle of the bridge


We know that infrastructure points are critical in war. And this morning, we fought for the bridge.

Ground rules:
Exercises based on the card game War: High-card wins.

Card/exercise matching:
The suit for each card dictated the exercise:
Hearts – cardio – SSH
Diamonds – merkins (not diamond merkins)
Clubs – climbers (mountain climbers)
Spades – squats

The number for each card dictated the number of reps to perform, with the following modifications:
J – 11
Q – 12
K – 13
A – 14
Joker (Jester) – 15 penalty burpees, and the card is worthless. Redraw.

What we did:
PAX divided up into Team/Army 1 (YHC, Rump Roast, Ultra, and Oo-De-Lally) and Team/Army 2 (Teasip, Sex Panther, Sweet Baby, and Abercrombie).

Starting at the middle/top of the bridge, each PAX drew a card from the central draw pile, performed the exercise, then played the card-game War with a PAX of the opposing Team/Army.

The winner took the loser’s card and ran back down to his respective home base (the bottom of each side of the bridge). There, he placed both cards in his scoring pile.

The loser was forced to draw again, perform those exercises, and repeat playing War with a PAX of the opposing Team/Army.

After PAX got down to their base, they had one of two options:

Option 1) Run back to the middle of the Bridge, and repeat what you just did – draw a card from the central draw pile, perform the exercises, and potentially play War with a PAX from the other Team/Army. Then run back down to place your card(s) in your scoring pile.

Option 2) Perform 10 burpees, 10 hand-release merkins, and 10 monkey humpers. This earned PAX a card-draw from their home base’s draw pile (there were 3 draw piles in total – one at each home base and one in the middle). Then perform the exercises and place your card in your scoring pile.
-Limitation on option 2: PAX could only choose Option 2 twice in a row before they were forced to run back to the middle and potentially play war.

PAX were also allowed, one time total, to run all the way to the other team’s base, pick a card out of their scoring pile at random, and take the card all the way back to their base.

Highest number of cards at the end of the ~30 minutes would be the winner.

We did about 5 minutes of Mary at the end, with flutters, low Dolly’s, and Freddie Mercuries


Thanks to the PAX who came out and tried this funky workout. It turned out to be fun , although we did run low on cards by the end. At that point, we had to take cards at random from the scoring piles in order to perform exercises, which threw off the scoring. And since it’s 2019, we decided these SNAFUs required all PAX to be named winners equally. (As an aside, though, Team/Army 1 did end up with ~44 cards, and Team/Army 2 only ended up with ~36 :)).

Oo-De-Lally drew the Joker/Jester twice, performing his 15-burpee penalty without too much chagrin. However, because our cards ran low at the end, he actually drew it a third time; but then said “screw that, I’m not doing that again” and re-drew. Upon official review by the ruling committee, this action was upheld as fair and within the laws of the game.

At several points YHC was able to hear muttered curses from Rump Roast, which tells a Q most of what he needs to know about the beatdown.

Thanks again to all PAX for trying it and playing along. We will iterate it and hopefully make it even better for the next round. YHC thinks all had fun and still got in a good beatdown.

1. QSource lunch tomorrow
2. Panzerschwein CSAUP 6 weeks away
3. Plano T-shirt order