COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA:
PAX: Rump Roast, Antman, Coach K, Pow Pow, Rocketman, Baby Ruth (FNG), Sex Panther, Thunderlips, Cabanaboy
QIC: Oatmeal (YHC), Alright Alright
AO: Burleson Park (Parking garage)
F3 DISCLAIMER & WELCOME: Given
Skipped due to workout
YHC and Alright devised A Workout Unlike Any Other in the spirit of the Masters Tournament assigning an exercise to each hole of Augusta National. With partners, the goal was to complete each exercise x hole yardage in three minutes. As the timer expired score was taken for each “hole”. To achieve reps x yardage on each hole resulted in a birdie. A score of par was recorded as noted below. Anything less was considered a bogey. No sand traps, water hazards or penalty shots! Holes were as follows:
Tea Olive 445 reps (yards) – SSH – Par 300
Pink Dogwood 400 reps – IST – Par 400
Flowering Peach 350 reps – Flutter Kicks – Par 300
Flowering Crab Apple: 240 reps – Crab Cakes – Par 200
Magnolia: 495 reps – Monkey Humpers – Par 300
Juniper 180 reps – Jumping Spiders – Par 180
Pampas 450 reps – Plank Jacks – Par 300
Yellow Jasmine 570 reps – Squats – Par 400
Carolina Cherry 460 reps – Carolina Dry Docks – Par 300
Camelia 495 reps – Calf Raises – Par 300
White Dogwood 505 reps – WWI SitUps – Par 300
Golden Bell: 155 reps – Burpees – Par 155
Azalea 510 reps – Alabama Prom Dates Par 400
Chinese Fir 440 reps – Seal Jacks – Par 300
Firethorn 530 reps – Overhead Claps – Par 400
Redbud 170 reps – Groiners – Par 170
Nandina 440 reps – Mountain Climbers – Par 300
Holly 465 reps – Low Dolly – Par 300
The tournament began in a dead heat with several team posting birdies on the first two holes and things steadily went down from there. Scores began falling as the course showed its fangs. Rules were changed mid-workout to encourage teams to complete exercises when it was a foregone conclusion a bogey was the only possible outcome. Team with highest reps lost a stroke, lowest reps gained a stroke. The round continued until hole 14 at which time the weather horn blew and PAX happily packed in their “clubs”.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
YHC prayed us out
Mumblechatter was generally focused on the structure (or lack thereof) of the workout, the difficulty and pure impossibility of achieving even a par on some of the “holes”. Reality hit PAX on holes 4 & 5 as it was quickly acknowledged by Alright that 495 monkey humpers may have been a bad idea. It never improved from there. Overall grumbling and pain throughout. Comments about rule changes was thrown about and I believe someone commented that changing the rules so many times was similar to playing golf with an 8 year old.
YHC set out to make Amen Corner (holes 11-13) something extra challenging, but alas, it all sucked! In fact, PAX continued to whine (YHC maybe most of all) about their calves through Tuesday’s workout. But, by god, I was going to get a birdie!!
1. Q Source on Wednesdays and Fridays at Chick-Fil-A on Hillcrest and Preston Center, respectively.