The Heist

PAX: AlrightAlright, Ant Man, Boom!erang, Draper, Icebox, Ina, Livemau5, Oatmeal, Pepper, Plus One, PowPow, Rump Roast, Shifty McCoy, Toto, Special Sauce, Squints (FNG), Sweet Baby,
QIC: Coach K (colloquially Mastermind)
AO: Highland Park / Park Cities / SMU
Disclaimer: Given to extend to injuries to any person. Specifically held people strictly liable for any damage to my truck.

Warm-O-Rama:
SSH x15; IST x15

Tha Thang:
See attached routes. There were two separate groups who ran unique routes with unique exercises. One launched from Burleson and the other group launched from Caruth.

Teams:
Team 1 – Alright Alright, Ant Man, Squints, Toto
Team 2 – Ina, Livemau5, Pepper, Plus One, Pow Pow, Special Sauce
Team 3 – Boomerang, Coach K, Draper, Oatmeal, Icebox, Rump Roast, Shifty McCoy, Sweet Baby

Mumblechatter:
Before YHC gets too far down this verbose post, I’m soliciting honest feedback for these types of workouts. If y’all want this to be more than a once-a-year thing, then YHC can make it happen. Putting this together was genuinely fun for me, so if the people enjoy it then YHC is happy to deliver. Also soliciting any opinions on changes/tweaks to make the experience better for the group and from a competitive standpoint. Livemau5 and Boom!erang mentioned at Bubba’s that the intro/preblast was a fun selling point, which I’m glad to hear.

0530. YHC almost got arrested this morning. We’ll start there. Apparently in Highland Park, using chalk on sidewalks is considered “graffiti”. YHC talked his way out, and then had to skillfully dodge the fuzz at 6 other locations to get the arena set.

0645. PAX started trickling in, and a few PAX were late (to be addressed later). Teams were randomly sorted, so they don’t align with the February teams. Instructions were given, and after a brief cell phone number snafu the Caruth drop team was informed that we were in fact driving to Caruth to launch. Icebox was given command of the Burleson drop, and two cars full of men drove to Caruth right on schedule to get things kicked off. That said, the adventures of our Burleson drop are unbeknownst to me. Rumor has it, Shifty McCoy got to ride on PAX back during some bear crawls.

0700. Brief warm-up before getting things started. It was at this point, we learned that reading every word of the instructions given would be the demise of the day as it ultimately was for one unfortunate group. We knocked out some reps before a 1.3 mile run through Caruth, down Turtle Creek, to Williams Park. Alright Alright and Toto jaywalked across Lover’s, and the rest of the PAX had a conversation about breaking the laws. As YHC had been threatened with arrest for breaking the law, didn’t have much of a leg to stand on. Once we arrived at the Pavilion, YHC was informed the northern part is technically “Goar Park”. Whoops. The Pavilion is a good landmark, so all PAX arrived accordingly.

0710. By the time we arrived, the Burleson drop team had all received instructions to send us the exercises we needed to do. Not to brag, but the timing of this whole thing worked out about as perfectly as YHC could hope. The race was designed to keep the groups connected despite running different routes. Likewise, we had instructions to send them exercises to do at their next stop. We knocked out 60 quick reps at “Goar” Park before running a lonely route up University Blvd to the main quad. The stoplights were not favorable to 4 PAX who got caught by traffic.

0722. Our group had the unfortunate task of crawl bearing up the quad stairs. Pretty simple, right? Alright Alright and Toto had a sizeable lead at this point, but they were still in sight on the way to La Madeleine. Pepper pulled an interesting maneuver over the fence and through the bushes as a shortcut to La Madeleine. We’re not quite sure how much time this saved, but most PAX just ran around. We had a quick debate again on the rules of off-roading it, and there was nothing that explicitly precluded one from leaving the sidewalk, so.

0727. Here’s where “The Office” trivia failed every group. The instructions were for our group to call the others and say “The Tea in Nepal is Very Hot” to which the other group had a list of options to respond. The response (if correct) meant a 10-count, but the wrong responses meant 15 burpees. Only one team managed to make the right choice, and of course it was the team with the lead going in. AA and Toto took off towards the track, while the rest of us suffered through a few extra burpees. This is also where YHC had his run-in with the law.

0734. On the way into the track was a symbol, but it was for the other group. Pepper was the only one to mistakenly jot it down (symbols were color coded by team). We all got to the track and some soccer/track nonsense was going on. They had lights and cameras – it was a whole ordeal. We got an extra breather as we had to wheelbarrow 100m. On the way out, teams ran right by the actual logo and had to circle back, which gave YHC’s time to catch up a bit. Pepper realized the error of his ways, and the three teams were on a neck and neck jail break up to Burleson.

0740. Just like YHC drew it up, the Burleson drop team had arrived only moments before the Caruth teams. Teams got together to figure out the 5-digit code to break into the truck. Team 1 was the first in the truck, and they got a letter (that was perfectly burnt around the edges and dyed because YHC goes the extra mile). Their team started on a final jailbreak to the getaway car at the top of the Burleson garage. Team 2 soon after got into the truck follow by YHC’s team. Now, YHC noticed that the actual treasure (a sandbag) was still left in the car. Team 1 broke into the truck but left the goods. All three teams were on a final dash up the ramps, and Team 3 (with the bag) strolled up to a posing Team 1 where the unfortunate news that they’d missed the treasure was announced. Team 1 was the fastest team arriving at the getaway car (an exotic hot wheels) before anyone else.

0747. Fast forward a bit, and YHC realized we had 13 minutes of a beatdown left. Remember the stragglers who rolled up late? We did 5 burpees for each of them (totaling 15) followed by some Mary.

Heels to Heaven. Bear Crawl down a ramp.
Freddie Mercury. Bear Crawl down a ramp. Run to the bottom of the garage.
Flutter Kicks, LBCs, Penguin Crunches.
AYG sprint to Burleson.
Heels to Heaven.
Body Destroyer.

0800. Now we had an FNG to name. We got a lot of ammunition from saving lives, CPR, working in the same pit as feature in Ferris Bueller. Ultimately, we settled on Squints. Since the group this morning was shy on their Sandlot knowledge let me break that down. Squints faked drowning to get CPR from Wendy Peppercorn and steal a kiss. After all that, YHC announced that we had smashed the weekly attendance record by 10+. It was also a record for a Coach K Q. On top of all that, we are at 5 FNGs for the month. 5 more to go before Oatmeal takes his dive.

After several trips to deliver people to the abandoned cars at Caruth, 9 (maybe 10) PAX rallied at Bubba’s where the “treasure” snafu was debated a little bit more in good fun. We talked about the workout, the Highland Park popo, the Ticket announcement coming in a couple days, spoilers for 1917, and the Crescent/Uptown area.

If I haven’t lost you yet, thanks to everyone who showed up this morning and busted their ass. It means a lot to me when people engage with these non-traditional workouts, so I appreciate y’all.